Wax On, Wax Off
by QueenJessicaPearson
Summary: Jamal sends Cookie and Porscha to the spa for a few hours.


A/N: So DatNookieThang and I were talking and somehow the idea "Cookie and Porscha walk into a spa" came up and hilarity ensues. Just a quick fun one shot. No beta all mistake are my own. Did I mention how much I adore Cookie Lyon? Don't own em, wish I did.

* * *

"I don't know why he even did this. I can't afford for some Xio Lin to play with my nails when I have Tiana and Elle to worry about." Cookie said entering the Dyanna Spa, Porscha by her side

"You work too hard." Porscha replied chewing on her gum.

"No it's calling doing my job. "

"Well just take the gesture for what it is. A break, it's only 4 hours out of your day. Relax Cookie." Cookie looked at her assistant, since when did Porscha get so wise. All that spying for Boo Boo Kitty probably.

"Easy for you to say, all you do is do what I tell you to do all day."

"That's hard work in itself." Porscha mumbled under her breath.

Cookie glared at Porscha and opened her mouth to say something before they were interrupted.

"Hello! Welcome to Dyanna Spa do you have an appointment?"

"Yes Cookie Lyon for two."

"Perfect. Welcome Ms. Lyon and …" she looked at Porscha who had already left to look at colors for her manicure.

"That's my assistant Porscha and please call me Cookie."

The woman smiled. "Of course."

"So today we have both of you booked for our deluxe spa treatment. That includes a mircodermabrasion facial, olive oil manicure and pedicure and a full body scrub and glow. If you want we can add a Brazilian to your special for an extra $50?"

"A Brazilian what?" Cookie asked thoroughly confused.

"A wax ma'am."

"A wax where?"

The woman laughed before looking Cookie straight in the eye.

"Oh. You're serious."

"_Obviously_ I am." Cookie stated feeling offended.

"Well it's the removal of all pubic hair via waxing. So it's like getting your eyebrows waxed for your vagina. Of course there are many types of waxes we have our bikini waxes, natural wax, modified Brazilian wax or the Hollywood wax."

_Its like getting your eyebrows waxed except it's your vagina. What the fuck?_

"Women actually do this. Willingly?" Cookie asked in disbelief.

"Yes ma'am it's really popular. I'm assuming you've never gotten one?"

This woman was either an absolute dumbass or she can't hear. Cookie didn't have the energy. Maybe this was a good idea, relieving some of her tension before she actually killed someone.

"You know what I'm good. I'll take the regular spa package."

There was a ding at the front door and Cookie felt her presence before she even heard her voice or turned around. _Anika._

"Hi, I have a 11 o'clock Brazilian with Enrique."

Anika didn't bother with pleasantries, she didn't even take off her sunglasses as the younger woman stood next to Cookie.

Sunglasses still on Anika turned her head slightly to look Cookies way.

"Fancy running into you here. I didn't even know you knew what a spa was?"

Cookie wasn't in the mood for sparring, strangely enough, so she sighed before turning to Anika.

"Jamal's idea. I'm not too keen on spending company time and money for Cookie's needs. One of the many differences between us I guess."

Anika finally took off her sunglasses and turned fully facing Cookie now.

"I guess it's one of the differences between you and Lucious too, as this is on his tab. Like father like son."

Cookie wanted to snatch the pearls right off of her neck but she held herself together counting down from 10 in her head. Thank God the man who she assumed was Enrique approached them before she could say anything further.

"Anika! Come, come!" He beckoned her grabbing her hand. "We're having our usual?"

"You know it, Lucious just loves them." Anika smirked at Cookie as she put her sunglasses on. "Toodles." Anika waved her perfectly read painted acrylics so dangerously close to Cookies face that Cookie contemplated grabbing her wrist and breaking every last one of her fingers.

Once Anika was out of earshot she leaned over the desk to the woman.

"I think I'll take that Brazilian after all. The most popular one."

"The Hollywood?"

"Yeah. I'll take it."

"Great choice. You'll love it." She smiled a Cookie before adding. "And he will too."

"Hello Cookie. My name is Ros I'll be taking care of you today. Amber tells me this is your first one."

"Yeah."

"So before we start are you sure you want the Hollywood, I can try to start you off with a Virgin? Same results it's just going to leave a strip of hair and will be less painful."

"Sure." Cookie honestly wanted this over with. She can't even believe she decided to do it in the first place; Anika shouldn't affect her like she did yet here she was lying down waiting for a stranger to get rid of all her fucking pubic hair.

"I will try to make this the most comfortable for you. First thing I need you to do is get naked from the waist down."

Cookie did as told, earning a laugh from the woman.

"No shame."

"I did 17 years. If you were afraid of getting naked rest assured someone would do it for you." Cookie laughed back.

"Okay so what's important for you to do is just relax. I will try to make this as quick and easy for you okay?"

"Sure."

"Great." Cookie closed her eyes and breathed in and out as she felt the woman apply the warm wax.

_This isn't too bad._

She felt her hands leave momentarily to come back and place a strip on. "Ready?" The woman asked.

"Yeah." Cookie said, eyes still closed, feeling completely relaxed.

As the woman ripped the strip off all Cookie could see was black. The relaxation she once felt was replaced with complete and utter discomfort. And pain. The tears fell from her closed eyelids and she impulsively let out a string of curses.

"_FUUUUUUUUCK_." Cookie sat up, eyes burning with tears, teeth clenched as she looked at the younger woman in front of her.

"Holy shit. What the fuck is this? Are you crazy? No. No. _NOPE_." Cookie tried to get up but was pushed back down by a surprisingly strong Ros.

"Cookie you can't leave like this, it looks weird. Look at it."

Cookie looked down and watched as one half was left completely bare the other covered in hair, she fell back covering her eyes, sliding her hand down her face to bite it.

Ros let her recover before talking again. "You okay?"

"Are you serious?" Cookie asked her hands still covered eyes. "My pussy is on fire and you're asking me if I'm okay. Of course I'm NOT okay."

Ros began to laugh.

"You think this is funny. This isn't funny it's fucking awful. And the worst part is I have to keep letting it happen so I don't look like fucking Jekyll and Hyde down there."

"Look Cookie I've seen a lot of reactions in my time here. It's completely normal. I promise I'll try to make the rest go by quick just think about happy things and it will be over soon I promise."

She was so sincere, Cookie thought which would make fucking her up later such a dickhead move, so she sighed.

"Fine."

"Plus," she kept talking as she applied more wax. "Something tells me you're a pretty strong woman. I mean you survived 17 years in prison what's a little wax to that?" The smile Ros gave her was the last thing she saw before her eyes rolled back and she saw black again.

45 minutes later Cookie emerged from the room walking towards the front to meet Porscha. Even from afar she could see the slight smile on her assistants face. Cookie didn't bother saying bye or thank you to any of the staff as she made a beeline to the front door.

"Let's go."

Porscha grabbed their stuff, and waved at the spa staff.

"See you guys soon! Thanks for everything."

The car ride back to Empire was silent, when they finally pulled up to the building Porscha spoke up.

"How was it?" She whispered as the made their way through the doors and past security.

"How was it?" Cookie spat turning to face Porscha taking her sunglasses off revealing how red her eyes truly were. It took everything in Porscha not to laugh. "It was fucking awful. It was like getting fucked by a razor blade. It was like someone set fire to my fucking vagina. It was uncomfortable. My entire body waist down is in pain, including my ass. Who knew you could get warm wax in your fucking ass? Who the fuck came up with this idea? It's fucking terrible and now I have to walk around the office like I have a stick up my ass because I can barely move. Fuck this." After her rant Cookie put her sunglasses on and tried to walk away as fast as she could, the waxing definitely having an effect on her mobility. Porscha followed closely along as they finally made their way towards the elevator.

Cookie wished the floor would open up and swallow her whole once she saw her standing there. _Fucking Boo Boo Kitty._ With a shit-eating grin on her face she glanced their way-watching Cookie carefully.

"Welcome back ladies. Did you enjoy your spa day?"

_Boo Boo Kitty 1, Cookie 0. _


End file.
